Saturday, December 2, 2017

Living With A Husband Hard Of Hearing

By Henry Hughes


As many baby-boomer wives know, marriages face new challenges as couples age. These hurdles are not necessarily more difficult, but they are different. One common problem is coping with a husband hard of hearing. Since hearing loss happens to most people after the age of 75, this changes life for more than half the senior population.

One significant change is that the peaceful home may be peaceful no longer. If you're a wife whose husband comes home tired from a long day, or whose husband has retired and is around the house all day (another life change!), you may have noticed that the television has become so loud that ignoring it even in other rooms is impossible. Fortunately, there are things like ear phones that can help one person hear the sound without deafening everyone else.

Another problem, and one not so easily solved, is that what goes first for many men is high-pitched sounds. This means they have difficulty hearing their wives, daughters, and grandchildren speak. A wife may lose the ability to converse happily in the car, to talk from another room, or to have boisterous family gatherings with everyone milling around together. Fathers become increasingly shut out of general conversations.

Or perhaps what she's saying is important, so she says it again, with wholly unnecessary emphasis and volume. "You don't have to shout!" he responds, and their happy meal is headed downhill fast. Counselors say that this common problem is very disruptive. They actually show women how to look directly at their husbands, pitch their voices low, and speak slowly and clearly. Only a well-informed and loving wife can accept this new approach gracefully, especially since her husband may not even notice her extra effort.

Looked at casually, this seems a minor problem, but actually it's a major one. Losing the ability for easy intercourse lowers the quality of life for all. Solutions like battery-powered aids are worth investigating before they are absolutely required. There are many different kinds and even the most perfect ones will need careful fitting and adjusting to work well.

Surgery and implants have become more common among seniors as technology improves. These more extreme measures used to be mainly for children who faced a lifetime of impaired hearing. However, many men feel that being able to interact with family and friends in all kinds of scenarios is worth it.

Fortunately the husband in our story decides to get informed early, since he has spent his working life in a noisy environment - the military (or farming, or carpentry, or as a musician, or as a miner) - that has probably damaged his ears. He also knows that his high blood pressure, his bad circulation, and his medications can contribute to hearing loss. Being deaf is worse for relationships than being blind, so he wants to do what he can.

A wife who notices that her spouse may be losing this important ability can do a lot to educate both herself and her husband. Since many professions come with loud, continuous noise - farming, carpentry, the military, factory work, mining - men are prone to this disorder. Begin now to preserve all-important communication with your life partner.




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